Women are their worst enemies

 Anytime I hear anybody say this statement "Women are their worst enemies" it makes me cringe. The sad thing is we are getting to that stage when you repeat something over and over it starts to sound like its true. In actuality, I have heard many people say it on social media and its beginning to sound like the truth. I will try to demystify this so we can let other people know that it is a BIG LIE!

Women make a very large chunk of the human population on earth. There are so many of us with different belief systems, orientation, background etc. Isn't it ridiculous to say "Women are their worst enemies" because we disagree with each other's opinions and views on a myriad of issues? Did you expect us to have the same views simply because we are all women?

I am not saying there are no negative and toxic women in this world, in truth, there are toxic men, trans and non-binary people. Toxicity is apparent in all identifications in this world. So why is it so convenient for us to say "Women are their worst enemies" when some women are toxic to others? I believe this statement is a tool to create more division between women and stop us from enjoying a positive relationship with each other.

I understand that many women have had terrible experiences with other women. I myself have been in that position before where I recognized a toxic friend that I loved dearly but I had to remove them from my life. What I have done is to intentionally surround myself with women of virtue and substance that are worthy of the title "friend". A friend to me is a very strong word that I don't throw around. These women are sisters, mentors, mothers and many more to me. The kind of friendship I share with these women is aimed at empowering and building each other. If you find yourself around negative people who are toxic to your growth, it is up to you to cut them off. Focus on the quality of the friendship and not the duration. There can be a 10-year long friendship with no exchange of value, I believe that is a waste of time. Talk to your long-time friends and discuss how you can both add value to each other.

Let me shake some tables before I wrap up.

The truth is YOU ATTRACT WHO YOU ARE! Remember Amos 3:3 shows that you can not have a successful relationship with a person unless you are in agreement with that person. If for many years you have found yourself in the midst of catty, petty, vindictive and immature women, it possible you have some of these elements in you. Please check yourself! Find a way to check your words and actions towards things happening around you and analyze to see if your actions are good. The good news is you can always ask God to help you analyze yourself. As seen in Galatians 6:3-4, 2 Corinthians 13:5 and 1 Corinthians 11:18, self-evaluation is very important. Evaluate yourself and fix the things that need fixing. If you are a gossip, fix it! If you are a liar, fix it! If you are a partner snatcher, fix it! If you are envious, fix it! Fix you so you can meet your destiny helpers.

When you improve yourself, queens will begin to gravitate towards you. This will be the base of creating a circle or cluster of strong, beautiful, amazing friendships that will last you forever and change your perception of "women are the greatest enemies of women." You will meet women that believe the stage is large enough for all of you to slay and shine, they believe unnecessary competition that does not strengthen you is child's play and they will always be there to adjust your crown when it tilts because they see it before you see it. You deserve a positive, drama-free and a wonderful friendship experience.

I really hope this has helped to demystify this anti-solidarity statement "Women are their worst enemies."

'Self-evaluation and assessment should be a major part of our lives as believers' - Sunday Adelaja

With love,

Bibi