Women are Fierce, Strong, Powerful!

You are Fierce, Strong, Powerful!

It’s still International Women’s Month and like I said in my last post, I will be focusing on women related issues. Thank you so much for coming back to my blog, you are amazing and I deeply appreciate you. If you have not subscribed yet, what are you waiting? Please click the subscribe button above and enter your email address. This ensures that you never miss out on any of my content, you get it straight in your inbox. Please subscribe, God bless you.

Quick background about me, I am the 3rd child of 6 girls. I don’t know when I became passionate about women but I think my position in my family played a role in this. I remember my dad saying to me “don’t let anyone despise you because you are a girl. You are capable of greatness”. I mean 6 girls right; society must have really pressured them for a son. It is quite apparent the worldly systems aren’t created to allow a woman to live and enjoy life, I mean you have to suffer to be crowned a good woman, wife or mother. What a sad world we live in. Images like this are overly romanticized and celebrated to show what a woman should be. While I appreciate the sacrifices of women around the world, I don't want to suffer. I don't want this suffering woman to be the global standard for womanhood.

Self-sacrificing mother (Image from stemmit.com)

To every woman out there, young and seasoned; You matter and are capable of greatness!

The systems of this world will try to keep you down especially for those in the less developed side of the world. But I am here to tell you that the first step to achieving greatness is to burst out of the societal expectations set for you as a woman.

I decided to break this post into different areas in which we can apply ourselves to be more fierce, strong and powerful.

Relationships and partnerships

How many of you roll your eyes when you hear statements like “As a woman, you have to make yourself non-threatening to attract a man’s attention”? I certainly roll my eyes. I have seen far too many women shrink themselves into smaller pieces just to be accepted by men that are not deserving of them. It causes so much pain to reduce your capacity just to make someone that ought to do life with you become comfortable around you. What can of life is that? I say to you today; you don’t have to lower your standards or yourself to make men around you feel comfortable. You don't owe anyone comfort at the expense of your God-given abilities. Your greatness is not created for basic people; it’s created for men and women with excellent spirits. Never reduce yourself to make anyone, man or woman be comfortable or be happy with you.  Never make self-loathing jokes like "I can be dumb sometimes" or  "don't mind me, I am just a woman" just to make your relatable to people you are not meant to be with. There are many women out there who wished they heard this before entering a friendship, committed relationship,  or marriage. But you have access to this information, please let your light shine so you can attract the right set of people that will help you fulfil purpose and not diminish your abilities.

Matthew 5:14-16 NLT “You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father.

Women as Domesticated beings

I know as women it’s almost a taboo to say you can’t clean or cook. I remember when I started seeing my partner, I acted like I couldn’t cook or clean because I refuse to let that be my “selling point”. I am way more than my ability to be domesticated and this goes for you too. You are smart, resourceful, industrious, powerful and you give life. Why do you have to reduce yourself to only a task that can be replaced by paid Labour or someday robots? There is more to you and I want you to believe these words I say. You can’t be limited to that “domesticated being” definition, there is so much more to you. This is not Bibi saying you should not cook and clean for your loved ones, this is me telling you to embrace that you are way more than that. Lead with your brain to get people that will see you for who you truly are. There are many men out there that are looking for a real partnership, not a cleaner or a maid. Can you support dreams with practical directions and guidance? It is not about people bringing issues to you and you tell them” you will be fine, have some Jollof rice”. I actually do love Jollof rice but I’d like it better if Jollof rice came with problem-solving abilities. Can you pray and cause situations to change? You have the power to do so much more. We all need to apply ourselves more. You have the ability to be a resource to the world and the people around you. It will be a great disservice to the world to no show what you are capable of in other spheres.

Read up on the Proverbs 31:10-31, she was so much more and she harnessed her powers.

Feminism

I know many women are afraid to align with feminism because they don’t want to look a certain way. You want to remain pleasing and acceptable in the sight of society by not admitting that women don't have equal access to opportunities as men. The sooner you realize that society does not see you whether you are a feminist or not the better, you are seen as a woman. You have to start making choices that put you first. Choices that would not endanger your agency as a woman. (Agency is the ability to make choices and act on those choices; culture and society have a wonderful way of imposing obstacles to women’s choices). You don’t have to be a feminist but you have to believe that you should not be disallowed from thriving in all spaces simply because you identify as a woman. It is wrong and you should never accept it. Sometimes these obstacles are covert, it may be systems designed to make you feel uncomfortable in spaces till you decided not to participate. Use your voice to influence systems that consciously or unconsciously exclude women from greatness.

Galatians 3:28 Living Bible (TLB) We are no longer Jews or Greeks or slaves or free men or even merely men or women, but we are all the same—we are Christians; we are one in Christ Jesus.

Purpose Driven

There is more to you than what society says you can be. The ability to be great can be limited by listening to what society expects of you. Have you ever stopped to think “what do I really want?” Silence the noise of family, church and societal expectations. Do you really want to quit your job to make your husband and children happy? Do you know that you can have a job and still be a good mother? You don’t have to pick and choose and nobody is allowed to make you feel guilty.

God has brought you to this earth and the biggest thing he has created you to achieve is purpose. Don’t let procreation and companionship attempt to replace purpose. you can have both, they are not mutually exclusive. Don’t let the calling of God on your life go unachieved because you spent time chasing your partner and children and you lost sight of your purpose.

If there is anything you learn from this today, is that you are a person first with a higher calling before any other thing.

2 Timothy 1:9 “He has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace”

Competition

The stage is big enough for all of us to shine. It hurts me when I see women being catty and petty over things without value. Things like fighting over the attention or access to a man. It makes me really sad. You carry so much and you decide to use all of that energy to fight over a man. Common! You can do better. If you take the energy, time, resource and ideas you use to get the man’s attention and eventually (short-lived) affection and put it into something of value you’d be amazed by the results.

Let’s take all that competitive energy against each other and push it into the workforce. Watch as it grows into something beautiful that you can attach your name to. Something that you worked on and will be remembered for.

Please, never internalise the concept that women are their greatest enemies. It’s a myth that only serves to divide us when we ought to stay today. Remember, the stage is big enough to accommodate everyone.

Philippians 2:3 (AMPC) Do nothing from factional motives [through contentiousness, strife, selfishness, or for unworthy ends] or prompted by conceit and empty arrogance. Instead, in the true spirit of humility (lowliness of mind) let each regard the others as better than and superior to himself [thinking more highly of one another than you do of yourselves].

To wrap up this post for today, I’d like to say we have come a long way compared to our mothers and grandmothers. Many of us are first-generation university graduates, our mothers could only learn vocational work as a result of the times they grew up. But you have so much more access to education and opportunities. You have the chance to leave the door open for more women to come in as you climb up the political/economic/social ladder. When you begin to see yourself as someone deserving of true love not for what you can offer (looks, cooking, cleaning and other chores), the better the chances for the future generation of women. Looks fade away, chores can be replaced by paid labour, what would you have in that case? Nothing. No project to call your own! Nothing that gives you joy. You are fierce, strong and Powerful, now go take over the world.

You were made to thrive, silence the noise and begin to soar like an eagle!

“To all the little girls who are watching, never doubt that you are valuable and powerful and deserving of every chance and opportunity in the world to pursue and achieve your own dreams.” –Hillary Clinton in her 2016 concession speech

With love,

Bibi