What does friendship mean to you?

By Toyosi Adegunle

Someone once said, "Friends in your life are like the pillars on your porch, sometimes, they lean on you, sometimes, it's just enough to know they are standing by". 

When the word friendship is mentioned, different meanings cross people's hearts, most likely because friendship means different things to them.  People have different motives for making friends; some make friends for material reasons, personal pleasures, vain reasons. I personally think friendship is way more than these reasons listed. It's a really big deal and it can make or mar you spiritually, emotionally, financially, physically, and every other ramification.  

As believers, we should pay attention to the process of making friends. This is extremely important for your inner circle of friends. Truly, everything they do, say, think, and engage in rubs off on you as well consciously or not.

Proverbs 22: 24 (AMPC) Do not even associate with a man given to angry outbursts; Or go with a hot-tempered man. 

The word of God speaks clearly about friendship and should be a guide to making friends. You can't be friends with everyone you meet irrespective of how nice or friendly you are; you have to be committed to building anyone you call a friend, as much as they are committed to building you too. 

There are three stages of friendship that people go through, and you definitely have one or two people in each category:

• Acquaintance: This is based on occasional contact with very basic and general knowledge of each other. Everyone that has now become your very close and intimate friend was once an acquaintance. This is where you consider values and certain personality traits, and determine if you want to be closer to a person or not.

• Casual friendship: This level is based on common interests, activities, and concerns.

• Close friendship: This is based on mutual goals. This is where friends are committed to the development of each other spiritually, physically, mentally, and financially. 

What does the word of God say about friendship?

Proverbs 17:9 (NIV) Whoever would foster love covers over an offense, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.

Remembering wrongs in friendship is a bad attitude and it tears apart the bond of friendship. Learn to forgive and move on from wrongs. Jesus loves you unconditionally and forgives you numerous times without holding them against you. Always practice eternal forgiveness like your heavenly father. Forgive someone before they even offend you and teach others to do this as well. It helps to improve the quality of your bond.

Proverbs 18:24 (NIV) One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. 

Surely, some friendships do not last, but there are some that are more than friendship. There's a funny saying that "your over 10 years friend is your Cousin already". You have to understand that God brings people into your life for certain purposes, it's okay when the friendship fades out. Learn about faded friendships in "How to be squad goals."

Proverbs 22:24 (NIV) Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person,  do not associate with one easily angered,

Friends influence your conduct and can change you for good or bad. Be careful who you call a friend, and move closer to. However, you may be put in a place to help someone improve on their character flaws, approach this assignment cautiously and be led by the Holy Spirit in all things. 

Friendship is a great gift from God to enjoy fellowship/ companionship with the people around us. The yardstick for friendship is Jesus' relationship with us - how he loves us, how committed he is to us, how he prays and cares for us. To build a relationship based on friendship, you must first understand the nature and purpose of friendship which is to build and grow. 

Here are simple ways to scale conversations with people you meet for the first time:

• Learn to focus on the other person, rather than yourself, your fear or shyness. Show interest in the person's dreams, fears, goals, and troubles. Learn in "How to be squad goals."

• Be open-minded and bear in mind that friendship is a gift from God. 

• Never talk about yourself always. it makes the other person feel intimidated. Ask questions that focus on the other person's interest.

What does friendship mean to you?