How to overcome jealousy as a Christian

by Bibi Babatunde-Ikotun

Hi everyone, welcome back to my blog. I hope you're doing well, I really hope so. Anyways this topic was inspired by a conversation with some of my friends and I felt a bit off. I personally admitted that I sometimes catch myself having jealous feelings and I really wished more people would have validated this feeling of mine than making me feel like the devil reincarnate, I'm just kidding. But you get the gist, my unvalidated feelings.

If you're here and you find yourself feeling some sort of jealousy occasionally, I validate you. Jealousy is a normal "human" emotion but what is done with that feeling is what matters the most. If you're also reading this and can't relate, that's completely okay! I celebrate you because you've hacked something many people in the world still deal with! I'm proud of you! 

If you ever catch yourself feeling jealous, maybe because a friend is rubbing their success in your face while you're going through a tough time or a stranger is doing something exciting that you wish you were doing or maybe someone is being flirtatious with your partner or your partner is flirting with someone or maybe your child is being more affectionate to someone else other than yourself. The first thing I want to tell you is that your emotion is valid, it didn't appear from thin air. I don't want you to start going down the rabbit hole of condemnation simply because you felt a normal human emotion.

James 3:13-16 (NIV) 13 Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. 14 But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. 15 Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. 16 For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.

The bible describes jealousy and envy as earthly, unscriptural and demonic! It shows that it's a big deal that we ought to nip in the bud before it graduates to evil practices really fast. How do you deal with this emotion that comes up at least once in a lifetime or in a while? Check out some tips below and let me know what you think.

7 Tips to deal with jealousy as a Christian 

Remind yourself of who you are in Christ

You, my dear, are complete and whole in Christ! Nothing missing, nothing lost, nothing broken! There is absolutely nothing is wrong with you! You as a new creation is the best thing God has ever made! When God looks at you, He sees His masterpiece. I know you may be thinking of your inadequacies right here and your struggles but your identity is Christ is more valid than your experience. So my friend, whenever those feelings of jealousy bubble up in you, stop and tell yourself who you are in Christ! You are the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus, you are worth the most expensive currency in the world which is the blood of Jesus! Check out my post on a believer's identity in Christ.

Go into thanksgiving mood

One thing the devil likes to do is show us our struggles in light of someone else's success. He makes you feel like nothing great is going on in your life. Like everyone is making big moves but you're stagnant. Whew! The devil is a very big liar! When these feelings come in, begin to count your blessings! Name them one by one! From the fact that you have breath in your lungs to food on your table to access to the internet. And the most important thing, you have eternal life. Just begin to thank God for all things! Burst out in songs of thanksgiving and psalms, let God know you're grateful and watch those feelings fade away. The devil is a liar, call him that to his face. Check out my post on Thank God every time

Renew your mind

Jealousy is a human earthly emotion but guess who is a new creation, you! You are a new creation, not a renovation of your old self. You died with Jesus, was buried with Him, resurrected with Him! You have the Zoe life! The divine nature of God! Spiritually, you have the spirit of God! But your mind may still be operating on the OS of the old man. So how do you align the old mind with the new spirit, by renewing your mind with the word of God? Keep feeding on the message of God's grace and watch your mind get rid of feelings that do not glorify God! You're no ordinary human, you have the power to rise about human emotions! Renewing your mind is a process, yield to the Holy Spirit and watch you transform. Check out my post on basic tips for spiritual maturity.

Don't compare yourself to others

Comparison is the killer of joy, that is a popular saying. Another thing is that comparison allows you to entertain self-doubt. When we begin to entertain self-doubt, we begin to drift farther and farther from pursuing purpose and living in peace, joy, being content because we're dwelling on the negatives. We stop seeing ourselves the way God sees us and begin to use someone else as the yardstick for measuring our worth! How dare we do that!!! That means we'll move out of God's lane for us and begin to run a weird race. Listen, you're not in competition with anybody. If you need some competition, compete with yourself. The stage is big enough for everyone to shine, keep that on your mind at all time. Life is like a horse race, no matter the speed we all end up at the stables. 

Learn to trust God

Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

The truth is that jealousy is rooted in how we feel towards God. Sometimes we feel like God has forgotten about us and He doesn't care about our needs. We may even feel like all the things we're jealous about may never become ours and we start to do deep into the pit of envy. Envy is lethal and no one should ever think that another person doesn't deserve what they have! Please and please, don't allow yourself to be envious of anyone. 

I want you to take a minute to reflect, what areas of my life, dating, career, or family have I have taken into my own hands instead of trusting God? What areas do I feel like I'm lagging behind and I haven't learnt to trust God yet? Self reflects and evaluate. 

Learning to trust God will ultimately help you defeat jealousy and envy and trust God’s plan for your lives and futures. Check out my post on how to be content with life

Pray

Deuteronomy 31:6 (NIV) Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Listen, it's okay to tell God how you feel! God is not too insecure to hear of your mess. Tell Him everything in deep detail. Ask Him to help you process the feelings and help you trust Him more. Sometimes we want to hide our mess from God thinking that He is not interested. But God cares about every detail! He wants to hear where you're struggling and want's to help you through it all. He said it in His world, He is not going anywhere. Check out my post on how to keep praying.

Celebrate those you feel you're jealous of

When you are celebrating someone, you will not have time to nurse jealous feelings and watch them materialize into something evil! I like that saying that goes "When your neighbour is celebrating, celebrate with them because it shows God is in your neighbourhood". When next you see someone celebrating something, be it getting married, launching a business, getting promoted or just all-around flourishing, celebrate and toot their horns. This makes the devil angry because His plan for you to nurse jealously has been destroyed with a true heart of gratitude. Celebrate them even though you're still waiting on your own! Remember that all things work together for you good and in Christ, you can never be at a disadvantage.

In conclusion, remember the chat I mentioned at the beginning? My friends were on to something; they needed me to see jealousy as an emotion that should not be tolerated just the way I would never tolerate adultery. I get it! We should never let jealousy linger in our hearts up to the stage that it tries to make it a home. We rebuke jealousy and super-impose the knowledge of Christ over our minds. Our minds shall continue to conform with our realities in Christ, nothing more nothing less. 

So yeah, when you feel jealous don't condemn yourself because you're in Christ! Take one of these above tips and run with it! You're helped by a loving father.

“O, beware, my lord, of jealousy; It is the green-ey'd monster, which doth mock The meat it feeds on.”

― William Shakespeare, Othello

With love,

Bibi

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Check out this video on idolatry on my youtube channel. Do not expect to see a talk about carved images but regular life things that become idols in our hearts unconsciously. Let me know what you think and please subscribe. Thank you.