3 ways to deal with the end of year stress (believers edition)

by Toyosi Adegunle

Hey, fam! Another heart-to-heart o’clock.

I’ve been extremely sad in the last one month. For more than two weeks, I couldn’t exactly figure out why I felt so sad and that is worse in itself than being extremely sad. In the last one month, I’ve done a lot of overthinking - I thought about the many 2020 plans I had for my life, and career especially, and how 95% of it seemed not to be seeing the light of the universe, I also had fears of some of my current plans not working out, I thought about the many toxic work relationships I've been in this year. 

Simply put, I thought deeply about all the unpleasant situations and experiences I've had and been in this year, what for? Reflection? Boredom? Fear? Whatever reason you can label to this phase, you are probably right. Self-imposed end of year pressure is real. It’s a different case when it’s your family, friends, or social environment putting pressure on you, but you, out of any reason, should not put pressure on yourself. 

I was really burdened with these feelings and emotions to the point where I became distracted, I made mistakes at work, lost focus on other things, couldn't keep up with my other engagements, didn’t speak with any of my friends for more than a week, stayed away from social media, basically became a loner drowning herself in the world of thoughts, all because I felt like I hadn't achieved much this year. 

I want to share three things I learned during this phase with you and I sincerely hope that it speaks volume to you because the year is getting to a close, and it’s easy to start putting undue pressure on yourself, in the name of reflection. Here they are:

1. Gratitude: “in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” ‭‭I Thessalonians‬ ‭5:18‬ (‭NKJV‬‬). In all things, give thanks. As much as I felt that I didn’t have most of the things I wanted or asked for, I was made to understand the place of gratitude. Even if at the end of 2020, you don’t have the things you wished for, thank God for the things he gave you that you didn’t ask for, thank God for giving you gifts, humans, memories, experiences, and lots more that has blessed you this year. Maintain a heart of gratitude whenever you notice that you’re overthinking things.

2. Communication: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Philippians 4:6 (NIV) In this case, speak to God about everything. I grew up thinking God only cared about seemingly spiritual activities such as praying, studying, fasting, and lots more. The day I realized that God is my friend and wants to listen to and watch me tell him about everything in my life, I leaped for joy. It is so beautiful to know God really cares, he really wants to know what's going on with you, not like he doesn't know already, he just wants to hear you say it out and build a very cordial relationship with him. In my darkest moments, I don't always find it easy to open my mouth and speak to God, instead I communicate my heart and I know God still listens regardless. The point is to stay on course with God - don't lose touch with God, he makes things better. Communication with God solves more problems than you can think of.

3. Consistency: "Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong." 1 Corinthians 16:13 (ESV) Don't be an ’on and off’ believer. Why do you think we attend services every Sunday, attend mid-week services, YouVersion app sending notifications daily, studying daily, praying often? The constant renewal of the mind is why. “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”  Romans 12:2 Don’t conform to world pressures but transform your mind by the word of God, speaking to God and daily surrounding yourself with like minds - believers like yourself to help you stay refreshed, grounded and rooted in God regardless of what goes on around you. 

Fam, this is my top three 2020 lesson and I’m sure you've also had several experiences and lessons this year, share them with me.